Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Day twenty-seven: Fear.

Today I rode on a tiny plane into a huge thunderstorm. As we descended it created major turbulence that literally lifted my feet off the ground. I get motion sick. I also have panic attacks. This triggered both.

The funny thing about fear is that it is part useful and part destructive. I try to focus on the use value of fear because it has been built into my life for so long that I've come to accept that it will always be there, and it is now my job to use it in whatever ways that I can. In this particular case, I found my way out of panic. I laughed. I took some pictures. I don't know.

There's a book called Art and Fear that many people I know swear by. I prefer the Artist's Way.  Both address the ways that we can get in our own way in the creative process, and present tools for how to remove the blocks that we build. I was looking at this work today and thought, how did they come to make that? How crazy and beautiful and brave is it? What if I never make anything that does that? What if I'm just throwing objects into the world that don't satisfy anyone's needs but my own? What if my chosen purpose is no purpose at all?

We all carry those voices into the studio with us every day, we all carry fear every day. Sometimes it's good to ignore that voice, but mostly I think it's better to use it, however we can.

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